Monday, May 29, 2006

Waves of jealousy

Until recently, I was of the pretty much of the idea that I was rocking, in mind and body. A few informational bits will give you the same impression. I am a runner (I just ran a half-marathon), can play N numbers of outdoor games, pretty much glue to a bunch of guys (even if I don’t speak their language), doing blazing research academically, career wise your dream etc etc. I was on the way to become what I call "Ultra Optimized Alpha Male" (UOAM) until a girl almost said, "I would rather do less painful things like put my head in an oven than talk to you!" Yeah, it started then.

I can drive reasonably well, which includes an occasional miss of a red light or a stop sign. Well when I was driving a car (it was a dodge for Heaven's sake) I was admiring how wonderful it was to be in control of a 1 Ton metal beast, which runs smoothly with just a few gallons of petrol. I was cruising at 90 mph. Suddenly, I was jealous. It is hard to imagine a grown person being jealous of a non-living thing but fancy it. I realized that the sidewalk and the trees on the side of the road were moving much faster now than when I usually run. I could never run as fast, or as far or as consistently as this bombinating stupid metal machine. And if I am tired I cant just eat a little more and continue to run. Stupid, dumb car. Who likes a car anyway. I can jump, can a car jump ?? I am just so frustrated that, jumping is the only thing that comes to mind that makes me supposedly superior to that automobile. But, I (mankind) made the car and a car did not make me.

Such artificial confidence boosters do not really help and I do not like cars any more.

Suddenly, I feel that almost everyone around me was rubbing my wound, even Woody Allen. I was watching "Match Point". In this movie the main male character is a tennis teacher, likes a rich girl, decides to get married. His soon to be father-in-law likes him and makes his career (yeah... It happens "just like that"). He also likes his girlfriend's sister-in-law. And they fuck. Man WTF! What the hell is this movie ? Was this movie made just to piss me off ? To start with he was not even handsome. He looked like he had a plastic surgery on his lips and could use some more surgery.

To top it all, she gets pregnant; he promptly plans to kill her, kills her and gets away. He then "decides" to love his now wife and gets her pregnant and they live happily ever after. Who wants to see such a lame ass movie ? I would rather be hit by a projectile diarrhea in my chest than to see it. You might have guessed right: I finished my beer and promptly left the movie theater.

I am seeing a life, pretty much like Napolean Dynamite. "Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nun chuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills."

If there are any girls out there, who are reading this, I would like to inform that I can hack computers. If you want to test, please leave your static IP address in the comments section and stand back and enjoy the show. I am learning bow hunting too, this summer.

If I was a girl, I would not really want to test me in any of the above *skills*.


Blogger babe said...

ROTFL!! cant help it!
"I would rather shove my head into an oven than do what u do"

Sunday, November 12, 2006 at 11:46:00 PM CST  
Blogger The Kid said...

I should credit Maddox for that phrase... search for maddox and the first link in google should take you there.

Sunday, November 12, 2006 at 11:52:00 PM CST  

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