Theory: Novel Classification of Profession Entertainment

Title: Novel Classification of Professional Entertainment

Abstract: Professional entertainments are naturally classified based on individual tastes or level of expertise. In this theory, I present a new classification for professional entertainment or more specifically stage performances, including professional sports, cinema, classical recital, a rock festival, magic shows, TV soaps, porn, etc. This theory then helps us to understand how some people cannot enjoy certain forms of entertainment, while others have a ball (Example: The movie "Sivaji").

The Classification: In this classification there are two types of entertainment: Type I and Type II. In type I entertainment, the audience is amazed at the skill of the performer and wonder how he/she does it. A typical example of Type I entertainment, would be a magic show. In this case, the satisfaction for the audience would come from being convinced at the performer's slight of hand. Other examples are a live music (recorded music belongs type II), professional games (like tennis).

An entertainment in which the audience enjoy the performance itself and the not the Raison d'être, would be Type II. For example, when people watch a firework show, they just enjoy the lit up sky, and the skilled maker of the firework is never thought about! Other examples of Type II entertainment are TV soaps, porn. I am sure nobody watches porn and gets entertained by the talent of the artists.

Exceptions: I am not aware of any blatant exception. However, there are fuzzy cases. For example, I am sure people go to soccer matches or cricket matches for the fun of watching a good game and that would put it in Type II. On the contrary, a soccer match could become a one man show, where the striker in one of the teams becomes the star attraction, which would change the source of the entertainment to be his/her display of talent, thus making it Type I. So, at times, even though we are classifying an entertainment, it could also depend on the perception of the spectator.

A good exception would be that, there are some forms of entertainment like this "blog" which are boring, and it fails to come under any of the above category! Or you could be amazed at how I could come of with such theories with absolutely no use, whatsoever!

Uses of this theory: Using this theory it is possible to understand why some people cannot like the new Rajnikanth blockbuster "Sivaji". Considering "Sivaji" as a Type I entertainment, where one is amazed at his charisma, his mottai avatar, his goodness, the movie would be liked. When the movie is considered as a Type II entertainment, and the movie goer sees it without an iota of appreciation for RajniKanth, it turns out to be drab (deservedly so!). Unfortunately, the north Indian population can only see it as a Type II entertainment, and therefore cannot join in a celebration of this larger-than-life dramatis persona!

Can you think of any exceptions to this classification? If you think this theory is a load of crap, I completely agree with you :-)

The LIL protocol

Have you ever blurt out something that you were not supposed to say? talked to the one person you are not supposed? Was someone ever angry at you for not telling them someone else's secret? Are you tired of keeping other people's secrets?

Long story short, I invented the LIL protocol (Last-in-Line protocol) to solve a man's problem of dealing with too many people confiding secrets, which only a "subset" of their/my friends/family can hear. When most people started doing this, the stress almost gave me a heart-attack once. I think this the best thing that ever happened to humanity since Socrates pained everyone to ask the question "Why!"

The LIL protocol is very simple to follow and relieves the follower of any stress to keep secrets and the related book-keeping. It follows 3 simple steps:
1. Don't say anything to me that you dont want to tell me.
2. Don't say anything that you dont want anybody else to know.
3. If the above two are too difficult for you just dont say anything to me.

This protocol ensures that
1. I do not have to worry about what I might blurt out
2. I do not have to be restricted while talking because whatever I say, will already be known by all
3. Less intake of crap.

Actually it works really well. Beyond your imagination. Try it for a month. Honestly, I have been practicing this for about 2 years now.

I know I will be nominated for the Nobel peace prize for this, but I would prefer M.K. Gandhi to get it first before I do.